Thoughts In A Half-closed Mind And A Bottled Up Heart

With half closed eyes, he drowned himself in thoughts
Of places he got stuck at
And spaces that yelled loneliness.
The thoughts always brought him back to the same place
No matter where his fantasies went.
He just wanted approval from one place
One person
The person he once valued most
The one, whom, he never thinks of
Because of the intimidation his love caused.

His wild and fierce love
That, which caused only hurt
A toxic love with tender inside
A feeble weak heart that roared loud
Louder than a lion’s angry growl
Resonating with the empty cries of his heart
A raaaawwwrrrr roar… That can only be felt not heard.
A heart that needed love from someone else
Before his cigarettes killed him
Before his existence cracked, tore and blew apart…

How he wished to be an ignorant dumb suck
The one who could stay aloof from all these feelings.
His insides burnt like acid
With all the absinthe drunk in an attempt to cool his heart
The laughs that fermented over eons of severance
Now still stung like cold crystals on a winter night.
As his eyes rained, a sick memory looked down through the photograph
With dead eyes and frozen smiles.
As the night ended, he thought, “Now,
What shall I do, with all these thoughts?!”

When Yin Took Over

With blood curdling howls
The darkness crept in
From nowhere to everywhere
As it beared it’s daggers
A malice tinged saliva string
Shot out like a beautiful comet
Possessing the naïve body
Getting ready to go berserk…

People called it a monster
Shunning it in every way
As they ran,
Ran for ‘their’ precious lives
Leaving their slowest kin behind
Because only they mattered
All the while ignoring the fact
That they created it!!

No wonder, demons rhymed with humans!!

Question to Suicide

I laugh when I hear people say things like, “suicide is never an answer. You should talk. Be more open.  You should share your feelings. Kiss my bum, etc., ” If you so firmly say suicide isn’t the answer, do you know what the question was!? Do you ever even wonder about it??

Because, people who say these things are the same ones who laugh at you when you open up. Stinking hypocrisy!! No wonder it is still a taboo topic in our society. They believe you when you say there’s a ghost. But they don’t believe if you say you feel depressed.

Suicide is the outcome, not the answer of the victim. It’s the end stage of the disease called depression. It is how the victims answer to their problem/illness. Nobody takes away their life on a whim. Everybody wants to live. But think of what forces them to take such a step. Be more empathic!!

Depression isn’t a joke. It is real. Words can’t cure it. It needs medical attention!!

How to be more empathic?? Talk about these subjects oftentimes. Stop being mean to one another. Share constructive criticism. Be truthful to yourself.

And to people who feel/are depressed, I’ve got nothing new to tell you guys. I won’t be there for you. You’ll be on your own. Seek medical attention. It’s a disease, not any taboo. Speak about it. And believe me; tomorrow, there will be sunshine! Just live to see it. ‘CAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!!

Crook in Me

Today I am a crook
I got scabies in my heart
Heinous deeds I commit
Without remorse
Nor even a speck of guilt
I spit venom with my charcoal fangs
Yet I remain pure in the eyes of God
Because, that doll I made forgives like a loyal dog
Making me a saint for tomorrow!!

SUCH IRONY…

(P.S: SCABIES in particular because the mite becomes more active at night causing increased itch metaphorically telling increased crimes committed at nights…)

City of Heaven

City of Heaven;
A cemetery to countless trees
And even more life forms termed as wild
They are built with tall buildings
And humongous gates
Made of alloys to keep away the bears
A straight lined civilization made by calming  dynamic waves of insanity
Making sure that chaos doesn’t return and establish itself again…

Because, we feel this as a city of Heaven
But in reality, it is a cemetery to countless trees!!

Doll

I’m a doll
Just call me a puppet
Dancing to the tunes of world
Never ever listening to self, even when old
I swim this ocean pulled by strings of gold
But, what of gold? I CAN’T BE FREE
What if old? I DIDN’T BREATHE GLEE
Muscles aching and still dancing
Why can’t I stop, just breathe and let go??
Oh, I forget!

I’m a doll.
Just call me a puppet