Thoughts In A Half-closed Mind And A Bottled Up Heart

With half closed eyes, he drowned himself in thoughts
Of places he got stuck at
And spaces that yelled loneliness.
The thoughts always brought him back to the same place
No matter where his fantasies went.
He just wanted approval from one place
One person
The person he once valued most
The one, whom, he never thinks of
Because of the intimidation his love caused.

His wild and fierce love
That, which caused only hurt
A toxic love with tender inside
A feeble weak heart that roared loud
Louder than a lion’s angry growl
Resonating with the empty cries of his heart
A raaaawwwrrrr roar… That can only be felt not heard.
A heart that needed love from someone else
Before his cigarettes killed him
Before his existence cracked, tore and blew apart…

How he wished to be an ignorant dumb suck
The one who could stay aloof from all these feelings.
His insides burnt like acid
With all the absinthe drunk in an attempt to cool his heart
The laughs that fermented over eons of severance
Now still stung like cold crystals on a winter night.
As his eyes rained, a sick memory looked down through the photograph
With dead eyes and frozen smiles.
As the night ended, he thought, “Now,
What shall I do, with all these thoughts?!”

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